My mate Lynsey wants stories of sex, drugs and scandal... I could say what I got up to last night, but really, I need to keep that for my special, secret blog. Have to keep this one safe for mother and father-viewing.
Actually that is a lie, I have no scandal to tell of. The most scandalous thing I have done in the past week, and that past week includes a night out, is probably hitting Crackhead's shuttlecock over the garden fence. The thing is, I don't seem to do fun, exciting things when I'm out on a binge drink anymore, I just kind of... mumble incoherently a lot, then fall over. Is anyone else having this problem?
Yes, I too find this problem... I went camping in norfolk this wknd.. although I thought it wud be a civilised affair, me and my good friend fos bumped into some chavs from leics in a local pub.. as we were already steamin, we thought that coz we were all from leic, we should befriend them, go back to their tent and drink cider.. the cider, on top of the vodka and wine i'd already drank, sent me west, or rather south, and an overwhelming urge to lie on the grass came over me (so there I was lying on the floor in the middle of a circle of chavs playing on PSP's). I thought i was fine, was just having a moment to let the blood get back into my brain and displace some alcohol.. so that i could stagger back to my tent. However, my plan was intercepted, when a tiny 16 yr old chav, called 'danger d' panicked, and got it into his head that I needed carrying home.. bless him, was about half the size of me.. so my very drunken friend had to also get involved in the drag be home effort.. all very entertaining i'm sure.. but clearly gone are the days when i could get drunk, dance to some shakira on a podium, steal a wheelbarrow and get up and serve breakfast the next morning. Now i need to be carried home by baby chavs. lovely